That Mall is sick and that Store is dead!

December 18, 2021

445. Noise Magazine, December/January, 1999

Filed under: Uncategorized — Anita @ 8:30 pm

[so I had to watermark everything because people on the TikTok love to lift magazine pages from people’s websites — aaand I accidentally put my etsy shop a couple of times, way2go, dummy]

Noise was a magazine given out by JCPenney in the late 90s. I can’t remember if I got it in the mail because my mom subscribed to the JCPenney catalog, or I picked it up in the juniors department in JCPenney — which probably not because I was a fat kid and couldn’t shop in the juniors department. We moved from my Childhood home in the Summer of 2000, and that’s when I stopped seeing it.

We all know just by looking at this that this is def. just a youth-ed up JCPenney catalog. I mean, there’s a article about … lamps.

Man, i think that “is there any downsides…” question kind of forecasted things, didn’t it?

Here’s some ugly late 90s jeans. Don’t bring these back, kids.

… like I said.

Everything back in ’99 came in a tin, including this two pack of Arizona brand underwear. I remember seeing fleece jackets sold in paint cans at Peebles around this time. Stila used to sell collections in paint cans around this time too.

Anybody else remember these bracelets? I don’t think the bracelet I got from Marshall’s junior year of high school gave me any powers. Powers to fail math, maybe.

~the future~

Official outfit of every jerk boy in high school circa 1999.

Remember this soap was a thing? Soap with other soap shapes inside? There was a gift shop near me 20 years ago that had giant blocks of these. One looked and smelled like German chocolate cake!

Please help me with this. Is the magazine suggesting that the Backstreet Boys use these products?

Soon, I’m going to devote a post to ridiculous gift suggestions magazines gave us. What kid has $245.

Why would you give a present to the creepy guy in your math class. Come on, now.

Here, have a phone that will fall apart after a month.

Man, the rolling backpack kids. Or, if you were in community college like I was, the rolling suitcase adults.

We dressed like this for school.

Utility vests were a dark time in fashion.

“‘hit him, you sissy!’, yelled the bear.”

Here we go everybody, it’s the lamp advertisement/article I mentioned in the beginning.

Believe me, I know from experience, your mom isn’t going to let you hang plastic bottles from your ceiling.

I remember those translucent flower candleholders being everywhere!

I always associate those Silver Tab jeans with the late 90s and the late 90s only.

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